There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
