i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
