big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
