paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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