Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
