Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
