He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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