I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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