i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
