I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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