If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
