smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
