people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
