My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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