I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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