escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
