Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
