Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
