why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
