i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
