can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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