Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
