Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
