He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
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You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
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Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Pants are for mortals
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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