Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
