Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She even gives head with a lisp.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
