We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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