Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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