Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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