On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
