We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
