I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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