exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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