If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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