Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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