if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
