wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
