Where did you get a picture of my penis
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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