But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You pole danced in your parka.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
