Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It's blow job season.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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