Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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