YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
