im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
