I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You work out of a Hotel?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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