Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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