Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
