She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
