flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
