tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
