and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
