we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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