How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
