It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
