pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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