i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
