Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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