We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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