I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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