first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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