after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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