I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My ass is underappreciated
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
