If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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