Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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