There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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