i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
