Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
