the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
