i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
