I heard we made out
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
