Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
