Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I got inside last night via doggy door
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
