U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize