you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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